It was late. The clock on my wall showed 11.00. I am not really a clock person, I don't keep time and I do cool things like that. But this clock was special, this was a gift from Ish, after our third official date. 'Because you're never on time, take this.' She gave me the clock she had in her room.
It was late and she hadn't called yet. She had gone to this night-club tonight to celebrate one of her friend's birthday. I was invited. I didn't want to go. Lots of homework to do. And last night I and Ish had gotten into this huge fight and she said I was stupid and she wanted nothing to do with me. I decided to ignore her for some time. I had to call home as well. My mom freaks out if I don't talk to her every once in a while. That is really sweet to be honest to have someone care for you without any pretense, but it also annoys me sometimes. It had been a week since I last spoke with her, the week that unfortunate incident happened. Ish had come over to my flat and was staying the night. Mom overheard her on the phone. Things got awkward because Mom didn't really anticipate a girl in my apartment singing love songs to me while making moaning sounds. I don't know. I sometimes fear she’s on the train already, to surprise me. I’d call her tonight to check up on that. About Ish’s staying in my apartment, before you start judging me, we have this ritual. When we'd argue, more often than not Ish would lose control and start with her fuck you’s and what an insecure little bitch I was. She’d tell me she was wasting her time with me. This all didn’t really feel nice and to be honest it hurt a lot in the beginning. But as I began to understand her a little better, I realised she never meant all those things. She said them to have the upper hand in our fights. Also, after having her share of regret of saying those hurtful things, she'd come over to my place to stay the night. All forgiven in the morning, justifiably so. I was willing to let fights go, if I kept on getting some action. A healthy bargain never hurt anybody. I’d not deny if you asked me whether I provoked her at times to say those mean things. And because Ish lost control over what she spoke last night as well, I was waiting for her to come over.