Saturday, February 18

Arranged marriage-A gamble with your kid’s life!

 8:30- A not so normal morning!

“Okay Punditji, I will talk to Dadaji about it”, said the overjoyed lady on the phone to a Pundit who had just informed her about a ‘well educated, self employed’ boy now ‘available’ in the arranged marriage ‘bazaar’. Excited as she was, she climbed down the stairs and crossed the main hall to reach the drawing room where everyone was having their morning snacks, quietly, till now.

“Maa what happened? Why are you so excited?” said the young boy, who seemed to have gotten up from bed two minutes ago. “Arey, Punditji called, he has found a boy for your Didi.”

“What?”, “who is he?”, “what does he do?”, “Mom say na!” all these queries flying from every corner of the room were overlooked once Dadaji spoke, “What does the family do?”

 “Dadaji, Pundit said that they live in a joint family just like us and they have a solar plant near the city. Dadaji, ‘our’ Maanvi will be very happy there.”

“What does the boy do? How does he look?” asked the girl’s brother.

“The boy completed his education a year ago and is well settled in his family business now.”

“How does he look?” asked the brother, agitated now.

“Pundit didn’t forward me a photo; but he has arranged a meeting today with the other family at the Societies’ Kids Park.”

“Today!” exclaimed the ecstatic boy. He held Maanvi’s hand and started singing and dancing. “Di, you are getting married; now you’ll go away.” Everyone laughed at the mirthful remark of the boy. Everyone was happy. Their daughter was finally getting married to a nice, ‘good looking’ boy. How being from nice family had automatically made the boy good looking!

But when I looked at the girl, there was this blank expression, expression of fear covered with a smile, as if she was trying to convince herself, trying to tell her soul that it is her destiny. It wasn't too tough to decipher, but people just didn't care. They came congratulating her, telling her how lucky she is to get married so easily, asking her mockingly if she would change now. She just smiled and smiled. There was nothing else she was asked to do anyways.

4.00 PM Societies’ Kids Park-The Battle Ground where a girl was surely ‘presented’ for…you know what!

Both the families had arrived. The elderly were discussing every aspect of the other’s family, their business, their social life, their culture, how much dowry they would want. The girl's family was already impressed with the boy and his family. 

The girl, who was sitting with her mom and brother in the corner, was trying to find the boy, ‘the prince’ as she was promised. She found him. She looked at him, kept staring, osLt in some thoughts. She would have to spend her whole life with this guy. What if he smokes? What if he drinks? What if he is a nutcase? How can I possibly know him in 10 minutes? Is my family just going to give me away to a family they didn't even hear about until today? 

AND what about Vineet? What about the love we shared for 5 long years? Why didn't Mom say anything? She knew about us, she knew how happy I was when I was with him. Is this not my life? Why don't they understand that I have to live with the boy and not them!

So many questions the girl had, so many objections, but there was no one who would listen to her. The society was so unfair, she thought.

A tear silently left her eyes to reach her lips to finally get buried there.

Something broke her chain of thoughts. After a long hour of discussion it was decided that the boy and girl should ‘meet and decide.’ There wasn’t much left to decide anyways. A place was secluded. Girl was accompanied with her brother. She again remembered the lines her mother said moments before, ‘beta, everyone in our family has liked the boy, and they are not asking for dowry, they are very nice people, so behave properly.’

After a five minutes of meet, in which the girl only managed to ask the boy how much sugar would he take in his tea, the decision had to be made. The girl said YES succumbing to the pressure of her family, so did the boy and the date was FIXED!

Wo kahte he sab tumhari khusi ke liye,
Wo kahte he tum naadan ho, nahi samajhte,
Wo kahte he shaadi do parivaro ka sangam he,
Wo bas kahte rahte he,
Kabhi humse bhi puch liya hota!

There is a sequel to this post. Find it here.


  1. thumbs up..!!
    love the way you have written down the bride's natural questions..!!
    keep it up!!

  2. Its such a nicely written article and its so so true.keep writing :)
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    1. thanks, and i will surely check your blog. :)

  3. Very well written !
    Ir keeps me this still in practice!