Saturday, January 12

My Just 5 Resolutions For 2013 [Post-II]




Premise #1: A friend of mine called me on 24th December thrice and on 25th four times [frice?] to ask me about my Christmas plans. College was off and I had bunked my tuitions so it was but natural of him to assume I’d have plans. I didn’t pick up the call.
A friend called from her landline, I thought it was a telemarketer [I know I have DND]. She wanted help. I didn’t pick up the call.
A senior of mine called me to wish me a Happy New Year, and some other people as well. I didn’t pick up the call.
I never pick up the call. This goes on forever. The worst thing is I never even get back to them.
Why do I do this?
Probably because I think it’s cool. Once I read somewhere that Johnny Depp doesn’t keep a mobile phone with him and answers only on his landline. [I read it on the internet; so it can be as right as the theory that earth is flat-The Flat Earth Society]
I tried doing the same thing, but it didn’t work because a friend called on my landline and I didn’t receive that call as well [told my Maa to tell him I was sleeping]. You know, I’d support this theory of not-picking-up-calls, but this should have some solid reasons, like you’re Johhny Depp or you’re stuck in something important [the process when your body excretes the extra you ate].
Resolution #1:: You have to understand the simple fact the world is not revolving around you and if someone is giving you some sort of attention, you should at the very least appreciate it. [I was talking to myself and not you!]
So, even if I don’t like to receive the calls, I’d try to do so, I’d try to get back to them as soon as possible. This is the first and last serious resolution I’m making.

Exceptions: I’m drunk and the rule doesn’t apply to messages and whatsapps and facebooks.

Premise #2: There’s a group of people dancing, enjoying; some of them very bad dancers, some worse than them, but they still dance, and move and BLOODY enjoy. I have always wanted to dance, like Hrithik Roshan [I wanted to be like Hrithik Roshan], but I never did. In my defense, I can’t really dance but the thing that hurts me isI never tried. I give up.
And not only dance, I give up on almost everything ranging from singing to taking part in something to getting up early to eating nutritional food to helping people to studying to writing to attending boring lectures to talking to strangers or saying hi, whenever there’s something in which I am not in my comfort zone, I give up.

Resolution #2: Learn some dance moves, my inspiration- Ken Jeong on Ellen. And get out of my comfort zone. Start experimenting with different writing style [like this; very boring though] and start making friends and not giving up. NEVER GIVE UP on anything. Wait, this is serious as well.


Exceptions: Gay sex.    

I am already bored with this sort of writing style and also I am writing this part after some days now, so I don’t remember what I was supposed to say. I am trying to end this now…just few more words. Don’t act like I am wasting your time, it’s anyway wasted.


Premise #3: CAT-2013.

Resolution #3: Study all the time, you’re free!

Exceptions: She messages or calls...but she won’t, so back to studyyyy.

Premise #4: There’s a multiplex ten minutes from my home. I love movies. But I don’t watch them. There’s a HUGE library in my college [1 lakh books]. I love reading. But I don’t read much.

Resolution #4(a): This is more a resolution for you guys than me, because the less I read, the more you have to read my crap. So encourage me to read, suggest me titles to read. PLEASE. There’ll be one less faggot in this world. The world needs you, finally. Here’s your moment, shine my friend, shine.  
Resolution #4(b): Stop being overdramatic.
[This post is a prime example of my inability to write something funny/inspirational/comical/motivating]

Exceptions: During semester exams.

Premise #5: [yep the last one; dude I am as happy as you’re]:
This can be better explained this way-

My senior told me once, quite recently something that’s never going to leave my head; such was the impact. I was down and hopeless, and I thought my life was going to end in the same way as many other people’s do, wait that doesn’t make sense. Anyway, the point is I was down, on the ground floor, and he was on the third floor. The night before, I had told him about my pity life and the reasons for it, justified reasons. So when I spotted him, I walked up to him for the life changing advice. Climbing those stairs was never easy, and given the state of mind I was in, I couldn’t help but show some panic. I approached him and asked him, ‘So, what do you suggest I should do?’ And the words he said will never leave me. ‘just fuck off, you loser!’

Resolution #5(a,b,c...): Now, I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation here. I won’t explain because there’s no point. You have not lived a life like me, a loser's life. It is okay till no one notices. So, I have decided now, these are some things I have to do…to get out of the comfort/excuse zone-
Writing more often. Stop procrastinating like this post itself which is 5, 8, 10, 12 days late. Books and movies. Take people seriously and their feelings. Wake up early. Read newspapers. Speak in public. Look confident. Shop more often. Spend less. Start writing more. Stop repeating things. Write for yourself. Develop the idea of your first book. Start writing in bits. AND tell Kyra I love her. 

Exceptions: Tell Kyra I love her.

Since you've surprisingly made it till here, the end that is. Are you injured? Check your IQ, it must have taken a beating. Or your brain cells. 

What are your new year’s resolutions?  

[Tell me in private messages like you always do...] 

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